.

So, about 3 months ago I pre-ordered my copy of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare from Gamestop. I'm a nerd like that. But, I had heard that the same people that made Call of Duty 2 were on board for this project so I knew it had to be good! All the reviews about the game said that it was the most realistic game play ever. The BEST graphics ever.

And I'm here to say that the reviewers were right. It definitely is the best, most realistic gameplay. The graphics are AMAZING. The only thing that I can say that I'm a bit disappointed about is the fact that the actual game is very short. The missions are amazing... but it all ends so quickly. I got the game on tuesday Nov. 6th (the release day, of course) and I've been playing it off and on because I've been studying and going to school and what not. And, around 11am this morning, I finished it. I was amazed at the game... but still, kinda short. Guess that means I'm going to have to get an XBOX live account again. But, I'll have to wait until the end of the semester otherwise I won't concentrate on school! Damned addicting games!

Some pics:

Here are my NFL's week #10 picks:
Falcons at Panthers = Panthers
Vikings at Packers = Packers
Broncos at Chiefs = Chiefs
Bills at Dolphins = Bills
Rams at Saints = Saints (Rams just aint gonna win anytime soon)
Browns at Steelers = Steelers
Jaguars at Titans = Titans
Eagles at Redskins = Redskins
Bengals at Ravens = Ravens
Lions at Cardinals = Lions
Cowboys at Giants = Giants (for the upset)
Bears at Raiders = Bears
Colts at Chargers = Colts
49ers at Seahawks = Seahawks

I've got a 4 game parlay ($10 to win $132.31) and a 6 game parlay ($5 to win $232.41). Parlay's are a great way to earn a huge amount, but we all know about those "upset" games every week. And those are Parlay killers. I think I'm going to go with this week's picks and bet a 12 game parlay of $5 to win $353.85. I'm sure there'll be some upsets... but hey, Its worth a shot.

I'm going to do another bet with some potential upsets later on this week for maybe $5 again, but with bodog.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must,
but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seem so far;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.

So I've passed my physical assessment, my MCT, and now we're in acute care at EMC. I have to say that more and more I love my career choice. Of course, there is not a day that goes by that I wonder if I should continue on to Med School. For now, I'll take things one step at a time. Finishing this semester is my immediate goal. Finishing the 2 years, passing, and graduating with my ADN is a short term goal. Going on to obtain my Bachelor's, then entering a Master's Program for Nurse Anesthesiology is my long term goal. Who knows, by then I may just decide to go into Med School.

At any rate, things are going well for this semester. I got my mid-term evaluation from my clinical instructor who told me she thought I exceed her expectations. I loved that. It actually brought things around full circle and made me feel much better. Lately I've had some struggles with my clinicals, nothing I want to get into because I believe it shouldn't be that big of a deal for me, but it is enough to cause me some stress. After mentioning that to my instructor, she had words of wisdom, words of encouragement, and well, words that essentially made me feel 100% better about my performance.

I'm looking forward to this weekend's huge game: Patriots vs Colts. I'm currently not betting on it, but I think I may be rootin' for the Colts!!

The nursing process is one such the exhibits a lot of reflection, intuition, constant assessment of environments and situations, and decision making that potentially holds the lives of others' at hand.

I am proud to say that this is the life that I have signed up for... one that I feel very much suited to carry out.

It is extraordinary to exhibit the characteristics that are essential to fulfil the role of a nurse: unselfishness, unconditional care, devotion, empathy, commitment, and above all else, leadership.

Slowly I find that I am challenged by a path that I chose a while ago, not knowing the extent of it, but knowing that my heart has always been leaning in that direction.

This is just "the tip 'o the iceberg", as they say, of my life... but a tip which is slowly showing itself more.

I just bet $20 on the Giants to beat the Falcons on a spread of 5.5 points. I think they'll take them for more than that, but, hopefully I don't lose my money tonight.

At any rate, I'm having a hard time dealing with the immaturity of certain people in my nursing group. One girl in particular who feels the need to tell others that she doesn't want to study with the group if I will be there. I don't understand her frustration directed at me, but I can see that its more of her frustrations at herself that are projected towards me.

People like her motivate me to continue being me, but at a 100% rate instead of the normal 75% that I carry myself at.

Oh, and I passed my training at Bing's. I start on my own on wednesday night! Bling Bling, here I come!

Ok, so I love football. I mean, love football. So I like to do some betting thanks to Bodog Life. Before the weekend, I make my general pics as to the games and then I see which ones are worth betting on based on point spreads, last week's games, payouts, etc. Here are my pics from last week:

Sunday, October 07
DET @ WAS 1:00 PM = DET
CLE @ NE 1:00 PM = NE
SEA @ PIT 1:00 PM = PIT
ARI @ STL 1:00 PM = ARI
JAC @ KC 1:00 PM = JAC
CAR @ NO 1:00 PM = NO
NYJ @ NYG 1:00 PM = NYG
MIA @ HOU 1:00 PM = HOU
ATL @ TEN 1:00 PM = ATL
TB @ IND 4:05 PM = IND
BAL @ SF 4:15 PM = SF
SD @ DEN 4:15 PM = SD
CHI @ GB 8:15 PM = GB
Monday, October 08
DAL @ BUF 8:30 PM = DAL

And so I'm 8-4 so far this season. That monday night football game made the weekend worth it. I was sure I was going to call all the right games but there were some upsets, upsets that I bet against, including that MNF game between the Bears and the Cowboys. So, I lost some money, but I'm still at 50% and I think I'm going to wait for the moneylines to drop before making my pics for this week. Im going to make 2-$10 picks, one "sure" bet on a pointspread and one "upset" on a moneyline.

And, without further ado, here is my picks for Week #6 NFL season 2007:

SUN, OCT 14
Minnesota @ Chicago = Chicago
Miami @ Cleveland = Cleveland
Washington @ Green Bay = Green Bay
Cincinnati @ Kansas City = Cincinnati
Tennessee @ Tampa Bay = Tampa Bay
St. Louis @ Baltimore = Baltimore
Houston @ Jacksonville = Houston
Philadelphia @ NY Jets = NY Jets
Carolina @ Arizona = Arizona
Oakland @ San Diego = San Diego
New England @ Dallas = New England
New Orleans @ Seattle = Seattle
MON, OCT 15
NY Giants @ Atlanta = NY Giants

Hopefully that will get me to 21-4, but I dunno. The game to look forward to is being hailed as "The Duel in Dallas", and that's the one that is going to be the best game of the week to watch. I'm going with the Pats because I know that they've got a steady rhythm and the smell of championship arrives with them wherever they go and play. Now, I would love for Dallas to win because I like the Tony and T.O. connection going on and I am really impressed with their game play the past few weeks (with the exception of Tony's 5 interceptions on Monday night... I've never seen a QB give up that many and the team still come back and win). This might be the "upset" that I bet on... but I belive the Pats will take it.

As for school and work, well, thats still going. I'm trying to balance out the two and I'm doind great so far in both. But, I've got 6 exams/quizzes in the next 3 weeks for Nursing, so I'm hoping I can remain focused!

Its all good. I passed that test I was stressing about. Now I can follow around another server and learn the other key elements to serving. Not like I don't already know most of them, I just don't know the Bing way. I feel bad for the other girl that started with me who didn't score high enough to pass that test, but she'll be able to re-take it next week and I'm confident that she'll pass it.

And now, I've got the next 5 days off. I have to start my reading of the next unit for nursing class. I haven't done any yet and I haven't been practicing the math either. That's on the agenda for the next 5 days.

Right now: sleep!

Since the last time I posted, I've been accepted into the registered nursing program at my school! This is exciting to me as I didn't think I would get accepted. Ash and I actually started looking for a new place to live in the OC because I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get into the program here. I figured I would try applying to other programs around that area. We drove up there one day in February, looked at about 10 different apartments and at the area and I guess we decided maybe it wasn't a good idea. And it wasn't... because 6 months later, in early August, I found out I got in to the program!

And now its October. I've been in the program for a little over a month and I can say that I really really enjoy it. Its been challenging as I've had to learn quite a few different skills and also techniques when dealing with patients. Last week I had to learn to really assert myself in the environment of a patient's room. I am the nurse and I need to make decisions that are best for the patient.

I've also quit my retail management job in the mall and started this week at Bing Crosby's restaurant as a server. Reason is because I will have the daytime available to study, take care of things, maybe even start going to the gym again, and at night, I only work 5-6 hours and walk out with at least $100. I can't beat that... especially not in retail... NEVER AGAIN retail! But for right now, I'm challenged with keeping up with my reading for nursing, studying for the next exam, practicing my physical assessment, and all the while learning a menu for Bing's which I am going to be tested on tonight! Yikes.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully I'll pass that test tonight!

For the first time in a long while, I just finished my 3 day workout routine. I won't lie: I am hurting everywhere. But this is good. I've suddenly found myself interested in "getting back in shape". That is, back to where I used to be. I really don't want to be as obsessed as I was, but I do want to live healthy and enjoy the rewards that come from doing so.

Lately it seems I've been suffering a lot physically. I swear I have heart palpatations, I get really bad anxiety attacks, my body hurts in odd places sometimes, you name it. Maybe the age is finally kicking in.

I bought my microbiology book today which put me out $170. And that was just the lecture book. The lab manual is $60 which I'll have to hold off until next paycheck. I've been doing really good with the whole "maintaining a budget" thing. The only thing I've really splurged on myself with is buying my new pair of Nike's ($27), a Starbucks coffee ($2), a Jamba Juice ($4), and 4 Mrs. Fields' cookies ($3). That's $36 that I've actually gotten to spend on myself from my hard-earned money. The rest? Bills... and slowly climbing out of debt. The funny thing is, when you don't have money to spend, you see all the things you really like and would like to buy. When you do have money to spend, you don't really "see anything you like".

And school starts in a couple of weeks...
Off to the races we go!

I dont like being made fun of, joked about, etc. I believe this stems from my childhood, being raised in an abusive environment. As I go along living each day, I found out more and more that I am truly the consequence of a harsh reality at a young, tender, and quite impressionable age. There are things that I can change, others that I don't know how to change, and still things that I refuse to change.

Sometimes I like to blame my parents. Sometimes my childhood.

Other times I like to be progressive with cognitive awareness of my self and who I truly am (or can be).

I find it easier now at this age to just quiet myself for a moment, step back and analyze the situation I've encountered.

These past few months, I'd say since about August of 2006 or so, I've done a lot of self searching. This was triggered by events that brought my life to a halt, causing me to abandon everything I've known and learned about myself in public and private situations, leaving me with a long journey ahead of attempting to "re-invent the wheel", so to speak. My approach to much of my life has taken its dips to the lows with exuberant launching into highs which all in all still leave me questioning for truth.

The only truth I've found as of now extends to what I can see and touch around me. Quite a futile belief after having been raised in a strict, conservative, Christian home.

Little by little, progress, hope, and faith lead and point to unknowns that in due time will be revealed to an unadultered heart.

Today, being the first day of the year, started off with a bit of a hangover, but nothing I couldn't handle. Actually, I didn't do much of the drinking last night... oh no. That was done by my better half, the one that I told earlier in the night that she needed to eat something before going out to our "open-bar-new-year's-eve-drink-o-rama-bash". Needless to say, she was hugging the porcelain throne late last night.

At any rate, the new year has kicked in and I spent the first day working.

Those who know me well would say right away that I love my job... and I do. However, there are certain aspects of my job I do not care for. One of them being the seemingly bi-polar assistant manager we have. I would indulge this matter more, but I am exhausted from trying to maintain my composure at work.

With that, I think I will have to call it an early night and get some recovery sleep from the long weekend.